KTAH's Scryed Parodies
by KTAH
Summary: Wow, I've been gone for a loooong time. Hopefully I still got it in me to continue this. Hopefully Episode 1: Kazuma is arriving soon.
1. 22: Martin Zigmar

**ZIGMAR VS RYUHOU**

_KTAH: Ah, my first anime fanfic! I wonder who's gonna be my disclaimer man?_

_Kazuma: Whoa, where am I?_

_KTAH: K-KAZUMA?_

_Kazuma: Who the hell are you?_

_KTAH: I am the author of this story, and you are my slave!_

_Kazuma: What?_

_KTAH: Enough! On with the disclaimer!_

_Kazuma: Dis…claimer?_

_KTAH: Ugh, NEXT!_

_(Kazuma is carried away by mechanical arms)_

_KTAH: Hopefully the next guy is better._

_Jack: Hiya!_

_KTAH: Wrong! You from a game! NEXT!_

_(Jack drops through a hole in the ground)_

_KTAH: Grr…_

_Don Patch: Oh snap!_

_KTAH: This is more like it!_

_(Dita from Vandread falls on his head)_

_Dita: Oh, where am I?_

_Don Patch: GET OFFA ME!_

_Dita: Whoops, sorry, Mr… AH! You're not Mr. Alien!_

_KTAH: Do any of you know what a disclaimer is?_

_Dita: Oh, I know! I know!_

_KTAH: Ok, I am KTAH and this is a Scryed fanfic. Now, go! _

_Dita: Mr. KTAH doesn't own anyone from Scryed!_

_KTAH: Good job._

_Don Patch: YOU'RE STILL SITTIN' ON ME!_

_KTAH: Now, START!_

NOTE: This story is a parody on the episode where Commander Zigmar fights Ryuhou. Ok, begin!

Kazuma: You shouldn't have come.

Ryuhou: Why shouldn't I?

Kazuma: 'Cuz I just ate a can of beans!

Ryuhou: Oh, man! That smells!

Kazuma: Take a whiff! (starts fanning the stench towards Ryuhou)

HOLD soldiers: FREEZE!

Kazuma: Hey, you guys, smell this! (Kazuma brings out his level 2 alter power and uses the propeller to fan it towards them, causing them to pass out)

Ryuhou: I didn't even need to bring out Zetsuei!

Kazuma: That's why I told you not to come!

(The two arrive at the building in front of two doors)

Ryuhou: Which one are you picking?

Kazuma: Hm… Eenie, meenie, minie, moe, catch Ryuhou by his toe, if he yells, then he's my foe, greenie, treenie, finie, doe! (Kazuma's finger lands on the left door) I choose this one!

Ryuhou: Fine with me! I'll race you to the top!

Kazuma: You're on!

Meanwhile with Mimori, Cougar, Tachibana, and Sherrice…

Tachibana: Checkmate.

Sherrice: Damn! I lost! (Sherrice slams the table into the wall)

Cougar: So, Miss Minori, whaddya say we go to Denny's and… learn more about each other?

Mimori: It's MIMORI, for the last friggin' time, Cougar, and no! My heart belongs to Ryuhou! (Mimori grows butterfly wings and flies up into the air)

Sherrice (running outside): Ooh! That's it, bitch! Ryuhou's mine, got that?

Mimori (growing devil horns and wings): Time to go down!

(The two charge after each other, but they just get in a slap fight)

Tachibana: What's going on—AH A CATFIGHT!

Cougar: Ok you two! (Bashes them on the head with a baguette) It's time to get down to business! We gotta help Kazuya and Ryuhou!

Tachibana: I-I'll stay here! I wanna help these people! (actually he's a wuss and is afraid to go)

Mimori: Will that mean that—

Sherrice: --I can see Ryuhou?

Cougar: Sure… whateva. I need to grab something from there anyway. Ok, quickly! To the Speed Mobile!

10 minutes later…

Cougar: ICAN'TBELIEVEITJUSTBROKEDOWNLIKETHATITHOUGHTTHEGUYTUNEDITUPFORMEHOWCOULDITCRASHDOWNLIKETHIS?

Mimori: Nooooo!

Sherrice: Ryuhooooouuuu!

Cougar: WOULDYOUTWOSHADDUPJUSTFORTWOSECONDSABOUTTHATDAMNDOUSCHEBAG?

37 minutes later…

Cougar: Ahh, I fixed it!

Mimori: Finally, now I can see Ryuhou!

Sherrice: Let's go!

(They all jump in and then they drive for about 13 seconds before they stop in front of the entrance to the HQ)

Cougar: We were that close the whole time?

Mimori: What is this? (she touches the scaly shell covering the building, and it starts to eat her) AH! Back evil substance!

Sherrice: I'm gonna go find Ryuhou! I think he went… left! (Sherrice enters the left entrance)

Cougar: Wait… why does it smell minty fresh around here?

Mimori: It turns out this is actually… Colgate Toothpaste?

Cougar: Wha--?

Back with Ryuhou…

Ryuhou: This tunnel never ends!

Voice: Ryuhou!

Ryuhou: What? Who's there?

Zigmar: It is I, Martin Zigmar! I have come to fight!

Ryuhou: Why do you want to fight me?

Zigmar: It's not just because I'm a member of HOLY… it's because… I AM MAN! (Zigmar holds up a BK Whopper)

Ryuhou: Gimme, gimme, GIMME! (he rushes for him, but Zigmar takes a bite out of it and Ryuhou falls back)

Zigmar: Let's do it! (Zigmar brings out his alter) This is my alter power.

Ryuhou: Ugh! (SPEED RACER STYLE!)

Zigmar: This is the first time I've had to bring it out. People call it… the Winder!

Ryuhou: … AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (holds his stomach as he laughs)

Zigmar: What?

Ryuhou: You're funny! No, seriously, what's it called?

Zigmar: It's called… the Winder!

(Ryuhou falls into another burst of laughter)

Zigmar: Enough! I'll destroy you!

Ryuhou: ZETSUEI! (Zetsuei appears and lashes at Zigmar, but flies back onto Ryuhou) Damn! You need to lose some weight, Zetsuei!

Zigmar: It's useless to try and attack me! I have the power of wind in my hands! Now, Winder, bust some sick air!

Ryuhou: OMFG with the fart jokes! (falls to the ground in laughter again)

Zigmar: ATTACK!

Meanwhile, with Kazuma…

(loud thump from the ceiling)

Kazuma: Well, sounds like he's started! It's my turn now!

Hammer Guy: HHHHHAAAAAAMMMMMMMEEEEEERRRRRR! (slams alter fist right on Kazuma)

Kazuma: Ow!

Hammer Guy: HAMMER HAMMER HAMMER!

Kazuma: Oh shuttup! (brings out Shell Bullet) SHELL BULLET BURST!

Hammer Guy: HAMMER! (falls to the ground)

Masked Guy: Should… we help Hammer Guy?

Masked Men: Nope! (the masked men jump off the edge of the platform)

Hammer Guy: HAMMER!

Kazuma (headlocks Hammer Guy): If you even think of the word Hammer one more time I'll throw you off of the edge!

Hammer Guy: H-hammer?

Kazuma: Goodbye! (throws Hammer Guy off of platform)

Meanwhile with Sherrice…

Sherrice: Ryuhou, he's in danger, I can just feel it! (she runs into Kazuma and they fall onto each other)

Kazuma: Ew! Get off me! I go with Kanami!

Sherrice: Yeah, well my heart belongs to Ryuhou! Where is he, anyway?

Kazuma: He went into the RIGHT door.

Sherrice: Crap! He's gonna die if I don't find him!

Kazuma: Ugh, shuttup about that damn guy!

(Sherrice slaps him before rushing back into the hallway)

Kazuma: I hate that bitch!

Back with Cougar and Mimori…

Cougar: So, why's it made of toothpaste?

Mimori: I dunno… Cougar, can you please stop rubbing my ass?

Cougar: Sowwy, it's just the temptation!

Mimori: Get away!

Cougar: All right! I'm gonna go wait in the car!

Sherrice: Hi, I'm ba—oh, it's just you.

Mimori: Why are YOU back?

Sherrice: When the wrong way! (Sherrice rushes into the right door.)

Mimori (sticks her head in the doorway): RETARD!

Sherrice: Slut!

Mimori: Bitch!

Sherrice: Ho-bag!

Mimori: What?

Sherrice: Ho-bag!

Mimori: I only got the bag part!

(Sherrice doesn't respond)

Mimori: That's what I thought. RYUHOU'S MINE!

Back with Zigmar and Ryuhou…

Ryuhou (all beaten up): Y-you are a strong one!

Zigmar: Maybe you're just too weak. Let me give you some motivation… you killed your mother.

Ryuhou: Say what?

Zigmar: It was at KB Toys. She wouldn't give you that Rock Lee action figure you wanted oh so bad, so you took a plastic bat and…

Ryuhou: NO! I didn't beat my mother!

Zigmar: What are you talking about? You shoved it into her throat!

Ryuhou: NOOOOOO!

Zigmar: … where is it?

Ryuhou: I… I don't think I'm angry enough…

Zigmar: Ok, then I'll give you more motivation. Kazuma is a better character than you.

Ryuhou: KAZUMAAAAAAA! (Ryuhou's body lights up)

Zigmar: Huh?

(Ryuhou emerges with a full suit of Zetsuei style armor)

Zigmar: It doesn't matter what you pull, you could never defeat me!

Ryuhou: KAMEHAMEHA!

Zigmar: NO! (Zigmar flies back) I've been… beaten by a… Power Ranger…

In the hallway…

(Urizane and Elian appear out of a giant watermelon)

Urizane: What was that?

Elian: I'll check… I dunno, my brain seems to be broken.

Urizane: I think it came from over there! (they run to the room where Zigmar and Ryuhou fought)

Urizane: What's Ryuhou doing here?

Elian: Father! (Elian rushes to Zigmar's side)

Ryuhou: Father?

Elian: No, not really, just thought it was appropriate.

Zigmar: Elian… my… clone… you have… giant hair…

Elian: Father!

Zigmar: Ryuhou, come close…

Ryuhou: Yes, commander?

Zigmar: Stop calling me that you friggin' idiot… I have a secret for you… Kyoji Mujo is a powerful man… he can defeat you with a finger… and beware of his Big Butts song… he beats people up while he plays it… ugh…

Elian: Father!

Zigmar: Stop calling me that, you stupid loser… I feel fine… I'll be up in a minute or two…

Urizane: Here, eat a melon!

Zigmar (eats the watermelon): Mmmm… good stu—agh, AGH! I… choke… ugh! (Zigmar dies)

Elian: Father! Father!

Ryuhou: I'm going upstairs.

Urizane: Hey, Ryuhou, where you going? Shouldn't we bury the guy? He just died and all…

Ryuhou: He's not important.

Urizane: Oh, ok. I'm coming with you!

Ryuhou: No, you're a member of HOLY and you must obey his commands…

Urizane: Who's commands—

Ryuhou: Shuttup. You're stayin' here, got that?

Meanwhile, with Kyoji Mujo…

Mujo: This will not do! They aren't supposed to be this strong! I will get them! They will quench my thirst inside! I hold the power to control all!

Elian #1: Sir, you look like a doofus with those glasses.

Elian #2: Why don't you drink a bottle of Gatorade or something?

Mujo: SHUT IT!

_KTAH: And that's my first anime fanfic!_

_Don Patch: Say, you gonna make one about my adventures?_

_KTAH: Mebbe._

_Dita: Ooh! Will you do a story about me too?_

_KTAH: Probably. Well, I hope you all liked it. I'm going to try to write parodies for the next episodes (I gotta watch Adult Swim tonight). It might take a while, it all matters on if my computer will let me on. Goodbye for now!_


	2. 23: Scheris Adjani

**PARODY 2 (23) SCHERIS ADJANI**

_KTAH: Well, I figured I might as well continue on with the madness._

_Don Patch: Say, what are you writing about, anyway?_

_KTAH: YOU WEREN'T PAYING ANY ATTENTION THE WHOLE TIME?_

_Dita: And when are you gonna write a fanfic about me?_

_KTAH: Soon, Dita, very soon. Disclaimer please!_

_Dita: Oh, right. KTAH doesn't—_

_Don Patch (shoving Dita out of the way): KTAH DOESN'T OWN ANYONE FROM SCRYED!_

_Dita: Hey! That's not very nice!_

_KTAH: Oh, I found out that I ACTUALLY made a parody on episode 22! I said 24! And the title for that episode is actually Martin Zigmar, just to make that clear. Ok, START! Oh, you spell Sherrice as 'Scheris'._

Scheris: I… must find… my hot piece of man!

(FLASHBACK) (Ahem brought to you by Minute Maid Orangeade yum!)

(Scheris sits in a room by herself.)

(FLASHBACK end)

Scheris: I must find Ryuhou!

(OPENING THEME TAKES PLACE, BLADDY BLAH BLOO BLAH)

Back with Cougar and Mimori…

Cougar: Why's it black, Miss Minori?

Mimori (bashes Cougar on the head with a bat): IT'S MIMORI, DUMBASS!

Cougar: Sorry…

Mimori: Anyway, it seems the mitochondrial DNA of this toothpaste has broken down into particles of dark energy that seems to be coming from…

Mujo: Hello, Miss Kiryuu! Ya wanna… play? Ehehehehehehehehee!

Mimori: It's that dorky-looking man!

Cougar: Kujo!

Mujo: It's Mujo! Come now, Miss Kiryuu… I need a hostage so I can lure those two rodents to me!

Mimori: But you've already got Kanami!

Mujo: But… two is better than one! Aha!

Mimori: Whateva.

Cougar: I think not! You're interrupting our date!

Mimori: We're on… a date?

Cougar: Go along with it!

Mimori: Oh, right. Oh, Cougar, big daddy! Give me a ride in that sweet ride of yours, will you, you sexy piece of man meat?

(Cougar and Mujo's jaws drop)

Cougar: That was… amazing!

Mujo: Too bad it's not real!

Mimori: He saw through my acting!

Cougar: I won't let you have her! I love her and she loves me!

Mimori: No I don't.

Cougar: Oh, I see how it is!

Mujo: Enough games! (Mujo sends Cougar into the wall) Come now, Miss Kiryuu!

Cougar: Shocking First Bullet!

Mujo: Grr! Stay out of this with your pink boots, speedster! (Mujo knocks Cougar back)

Mimori: Wait! You can't!

Cougar: But I can! I have pink boots! Don't worry, I'm doing this for you! Now go find Ryuhou!

Mimori: Right! I'm coming, my sexy beast!

Mujo: Wait, where are you going? Get back here and hug me!

Cougar: She won't be doing that. And I'll tell you why… 'cuz I found the girl I've been looking for! She gives me… CULTURE! (Cougar forms the armor alter on his body)

Mujo: Culture?

Cougar: Let's go!

Mujo: You don't stand a chance against me because you're about to die!

Cougar: How did you know?

Mujo: Because you stupid idiot I can read minds!

Cougar: Oh yeah well read this! (Cougar swiftly kicks towards Mujo, but Mujo dodges with a simple sidestep) He dodged my kick?

Mujo: I'm just too fast now! Ahh! (Mujo slips on a banana peel that Cougar dropped)

Cougar: Gotcha! (Cougar lunges upward and kicks downward, but misses again)

Mujo: You're too slow!

Cougar: I'm slow? I'M FRIGGIN' SLOW? OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! YOU'VE BROKEN THE SEAL OF THE SPEEDSTER! NOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY WITH THE RAPID-KILLING FINAL BULLET! (Cougar assaults onto Mujo, but Mujo jumps on top of him and hugs him tightly)

Mujo: Ok, this is just wrong!

Cougar: Hell yeah. Get offa me fagboy!

Mujo: But I want to show you something!

Cougar: Oh, come on! That's just sick!

Mujo: Not that, sicko! It's a little thing I call… the White Dove! (Mujo stabs Cougar with a white aura covered arm)

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: And another thing! I call it… the Black… uh… Thing! (Mujo stabs Cougar with a black aura arm)

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo (jumps off of Cougar): How ya like them?

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: Now I'll take your alter power for my own use! (Mujo opens mouth and burps on accident) Whoops. (Mujo opens mouth again and sucks up the alter aura from Cougar)

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: Ok, you really need to stop shouting—

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: SHUTTUP!

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mu—

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: I'm leaving!

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Back at Mujo's room…

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: You two, with the gigantic haircuts! Bring me Miss Mimori! Kill the rest with… a rock or something…

Elian #1: How about we send two gigantic robots to kill Kazuma?

Elian #2: And we send little eyeball stringey thingeys to kill Scheris?

Mujo: Excellent! Here's some Scooby Snacks! (Elian #s 1 and 2 rush for the dog treats) Aha! I'll send Black and White Man to kill Ryuhou! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Elain #2: That's… the Crystal, sir—

Mujo: No Scooby Snack for you! (Mujo whips #2s hand with… a whip)

Kanami: No, Papa Smurf… I don't wanna visit Uncle Gargamel…

Mujo: WTF?

Meanwhile, back with Kazuma…

Kazuma (an alarm goes off and plays the Mr. Roger's Neighborhood song): What the hell? (two giant robots appear) Oh, you guys wanna dance, too? Then let's dance! (Kazuma pulls out Shell Bullet and starts break dancing)

Back with Scheris…

Scheris: What the? (Stringey eyeball thingeys grow out of the walls) That wasn't there before… (one shoots mustard at her) Hey, stop that! (the other eyeballs start to shoot mustard at her as well) Ew! Gross!

Back with Mimori…

Mimori: An alarm?

(Suddenly, the wall breaks open)

Urizane: Now they're attacking us, too!

Mimori: Oh great, it's you two retards! I was hoping it was Ryuhou…

Urizane & Elian: Hm?

And what of Ryuhou…

Ryuhou: What's going on?

(the Crystal starts materializing in front of Ryuhou)

Ryuhou: Ugh! (in classic Speed Racer style again)

The Crystal: AROOGA!

Ryuhou: Things just keep smacking me in the face, don't they? (a piece of cheese smacks him, and he grabs it quickly and eats it) Mm… cheddar. I'll destroy you! Zetsuei! (Zetsuei appears and attacks the Crystal)

The Crystal: AROOGA! (shoots down Zetsuei with a lime green bazooka)

Ryuhou: What?

The Crystal: AROOGA MOOGA! (starts playing the Barney song over and over)

Ryuhou: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kazuma…

Kazuma: So, you guys had enough already?

Blue Robot: Sure have!

Purple Robot: You're a tough one, aren't ya?

Kazuma: You bettah believe it! I can outdance anyone in here!

Both Robots: Amazing!

Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…

Urizane: Where are you going?

Mimori: To help Ryuhou! I don't know what I can do, but I'll do it!

Urizane: But you suck at fighting!

Elian: I'll come with you! Maybe I can help?

Urizane: You suck, too!

Elian: But wouldn't this be what my father would want?

Urizane: No! And he wasn't your father, for the last friggin' time!

Mimori: Come on, guys! I'll… give you two a kiss if you come with me?

Urizane: UGH! I'D RATHER GO WITH YOU THAN GET KISSED, OGRE LIPS!

Elian: I've never been kissed before…

Urizane: No way in hell are you getting kissed by that beast!

Mimori: Ok, then, come on, you two!

Urizane & Elian: Fine then.

At the control room…

Mimori: If we destroy this doohickey, then we might make Mujo weaker than he already is!

Urizane: All right! I got just the trick! Watermelon Fist! (the room is enshrouded in watermelon pattern, and then it clears up) What? It didn't work…

Mimori: YES IT DID! IT TOOK MY CLOTHES!

Elian: So that's what a naked woman looks like!

Urizane: Elian, that is not what a nekkid lady looks like! Don't curse your eyes with it's ugliness! Look away! Hold on, I'll fix things up! Watermelon Fist! (the watermelon pattern surrounds the room again, and it goes away with Mimori dressed again)

Mimori: Perv…

Urizane: Trust me, if I wanted to see a nekkid woman, I'd get… oh I dunno really… mebbe Scheris?

Mimori: That bitch? You are a sicko…

Urizane: Hey, look! The brain thingamajig is gone!

Mujo's Room…

Mujo: Eheheheheh! I'll drain Ryuhou's power and his Power Ranger suit will be mine!

Elian #1: AGH! (his fishbowl device explodes)

Elian #2: Oof! (someone throws a rock at him AND his fishbowl device explodes)

_KTAH: Don Patch! Don't throw things at the people in the story!_

_Don Patch: Whaddya mean? It wasn't me!_

_Dita: Yes it was! You threw that cheese at that guy with the green hair too!_

_KTAH: Ok, continue!_

_Don Patch: Sowwy, Momma Dita…_

Mujo: What is going on? (the monitors explode)

Back with Scheris…

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scheris: Damn, how long is this #$! tunnel?

Ryuhou: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scheris: Ryuhou? (she runs into the room where Ryuhou is) Oh, no, it's that evil Barney song! Activate headphones! (Scheris grows headphones in her hair) Ryuhou! I'll throw you a pair! (she throws the headphones towards Ryuhou, but she sucks at throwing and it falls on an eyeball thingey)

Ryuhou: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Crystal: All right, that does it! THUNDER! (The Crystal shocks the crap out of Ryuhou)

Scheris: RYUHOU! (Ryuhou gets stabbed by the Black Thing arm and falls to the ground)

_Don Patch: Oh, don't bother to catch the guy!_

_KTAH: Shuttup! (smacks D.P. with a bat)_

The Crystal: PUUMBA!

Scheris: I'm coming, Ryuhou! (the eyeball thingeys grow and they shoot the crap out of her) I won't let these… cheesewiz shooting… thingeys stop me!

Back with Mujo for a second…

Mujo (summons The Crystal back to his pinky): I can't control anything without Pepsi power!

Now back to Scheris and Ryuhou…

(The eyeball thingeys burn into bacon)

Scheris: I'm coming, man meat! (runs to Ryuhou) Ryuhou! Ryuhou, wake up! (slaps Ryuhou in the face) Ryuhou! Wakey, wakey, bedhead! (steps on his crotch) RYUHOU!

(Ryuhou stays silent, hoping that she'll go away)

Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…

Mimori (her crystal explodes): Oh no! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

Urizane: WTF is up wit' you, you crazy psycho-bitch?

Mimori: It's Ryuhou… he's… he's…

Urizane: What? What's up with Ryuhou?

Back with Scheris and Ryuhou… oh and the bacon…

Scheris: Ryuhou… I won't let you die. You've saved me before…

(FLASHBACK)

Scheris: You saved me from those guys… 

Old Fogey: You've betrayed us, so now you're gonna stay in that room! Hardy har har!

(ceiling explodes and crushes bad men dead)

Ryuhou: It's ok, now. You're safe… you're free—OMFG IS THAT A MULLET?

Scheris: No one ever noticed that I had a mullet until that day… and then I finally cut it… 

(FLASHBACK END)

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This bacon is good!

Scheris: Now it's my turn to save you… I've never told you… but… (she kisses him) I truly love you, Ryuhou…

(Scheris grows wings and a beak… oh and antlers, and the Statue of Liberty grows out of her back… and she disappears, leaving nothing but her hairpiece, her headphones, her clothes, and her book called Ryuhou Stalking Schedule)

Ryuhou: … whoa! She's finally gone! I thought she was gonna rape me or something! Ugh, she kissed me, too! (Ryuhou spits out the germs) Eww, what did she eat, a hoagie or something?

(He looks around at the stuff lying around)

Ryuhou: Oh, no! No, no, no! She didn't!

Mimori…

Mimori (the crystal grows back): Ah! He's still alive! I'm not going to be stranded as a virgin now! I can liiiivvveee!

Ryuhou…

Ryuhou: Why did she do it? She wasn't supposed to use it! I didn't mean for her to be dead! What should I do? I thought she was gonna take my body and…

(Kazuma walks into the room)

Kazuma: Crap, man, is that Scheris' clothes? So, where's the nekkid girl at?

Ryuhou: She's gone… she's… gone…

Kazuma: Oh, you mean—oh, snap! Here's what you do: cry for her! (Kazuma punches Ryuhou on the face) That's the least you could do…

Ryuhou: … I… ugh… uh… (Ryuhou starts crying dramatically) SHE'S GONE! AGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! WHHYYYYYYYYY?

Kazuma: Whoa, whoa, that's a little bit too hard, man!

Ryuhou: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_KTAH: We'll, that's the end of that!_

_Dita: So… sad… I think I'm gonna cry now!_

_KTAH: Wha?_

_Don Patch: SHE'S DEAD! (starts a little funeral act that pisses KTAH off)_

_KTAH: ENOUGH! (whacks Don Patch in the head with a paper fan)_

_Dita: So, are you going to continue?_

_KTAH: Of course! I just need to see the next episode! I wish I had the DVDs, because that would be so much easier! We'll, see you next parody/episode!_

**NEXT EPISODE: THE GRAND FIGHT COMING SOON!**


	3. 24: Fist

**PARODY 3 (24): FIST**

_KTAH: Ah, already on the third parody. I had to watch this episode two times so I could memorize the episode!_

_Don Patch: Yeah, well… what about my show?_

_KTAH: Your show isn't on until Saturday, idiot._

_Don Patch: Thanks!_

_KTAH: Wha?_

_Dita: KTAH doesn't own anyone from Scryed!_

_KTAH: Yeah, and I said episode 24 was called The Grand Fight. Well, it's called Fist. Ok, begin!_

(Ryuhou's still crying like crazy, and Kazuma stands behind him, looking down at the ground. Flashes of his friends whom died go through his head… and then he busts some sick air)

Kazuma: Oh man! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Ryuhou: Oh, no! That's gonna reak! Ahahahahahahaha!

(BEGINNING TAKES PLACE, TOO DOO DE DOO DELEE DOO)

Meanwhile, with Mujo…

Mujo: I can't download any porn without the Pepsi power! You two, with the fro-like cuts! Fix it, fix it, FIX IT!

Elian #1 (tries to use his alter, but fails): Oh man…

Elian #2 (tries to use it also, but fails): We're #$&…

Mujo: USELESS BABOONS! (grabs them by the fro's and starts to shock the crap out of them)

Elian #1&2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (they both explode)

Mujo: Oh, $… overloaded them. (throws them in a garbage can)

Oscar: Oh, I love tra—

Mujo (shoots Oscar with a White Dove): SHUT IT! (looks back at Kanami)

Kanami: Oh, man… that really… smells… (obviously from Ryuhou or Kazuma)

Mujo: Ew, did one of those two blow wind? Aw, gross! But… as long as I keep sending Pepsi into her brain, I am invisible!

_KTAH: No, Mujo! It's invincible! INVINCIBLE!_

Mujo: Oh, ok. Ahem… But… as long as I keep sending Pepsi into her brain, I am invincible! Eheheheheheheh!

Meanwhile, with Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…

Mimori: The crystal… it's back… but why did it disappear… and then reappear?

Elian: We're in!

Urizane: All right, my man! Now, show me the boobies!

Mimori: Hey, if you're online, at least search for Ryuhou and the others!

Urizane: But it took us a long time to get on!

Mimori: SEARCH FOR RYUHOU! RYUHOU! RYUHOU!

Elian: Ok, ok, hold on… (goes to Google Image Search and types in Ryuhou) Well, there's… oh, my… a naked picture of Ryuhou?

Mimori: Where? Show me, show me, SHOW ME!

Urizane: No way, bitch! If we can't see boobies, then you don't see Ryuhou in the nudies!

Elian: Oh, they're they are! Ryuhou and Kazuma are on the top floor. Ryuhou looks like he's crying (really he's laughing his ass off).

Mimori: And… what about that nerd Kazuma?

Elian: He's there, too… but he looks like he's coughing (actually, he's laughing his ass off, too)

Mimori: What about Kanami? She's a little girl!

Elian: Ok, hold on… (types Kanami in the search) Ah! Here she is! She looks like she's… fell asleep in a bathroom?

Mimori: Ok, that's good.

Urizane: Search for Scheris and Cougar, too.

Mimori: Cougar, yes, but SCHERIS? No way!

Urizane: Do it anyway.

Mimori: I hate your guts.

Elian: Ok, I'll search for Scheris… let's see… no search results for Scheris Adjani…

Urizane: W-wha?

Mimori: Good! I thought there was gonna be a nudie picture of that monster! Oh, what about Cougar?

Elian: Hold on… no search results.

Urizane: W-WH-WHAT?

Mimori: No!

Elian: It says it right on my bubble screen (actually, he spelled Straight Cougar as "Strait Coogar").

Urizane: No search results for Scheris or Cougar? THAT'S HORSESH—

_KTAH: Haha, I had to include that censor! I saw the episode on AS and they cut him off in the middle of bulls—t. It was funny! Ok, sorry, back to the story!_

Urizane: Stupid mutha&, &&sucking, #$licking, #! mainlanders! I'll destroy them!

Elian: You can't.

Urizane: Who says so?

Elian: I did. You know we're weak as hell and can't do crap to stop Mujo alone. We have to believe in those two…

Urizane: Whateva!

Mimori: Huh… Ryuhou's soooooo dreamy… ew, Kazuma! I'm believing in Ryuhou only!

Back with Ryuhou and Kazuma…

(they are walking down the last long ass tunnel)

Ryuhou: Do… you need some help?

Kazuma: Don't touch me, fairy-boy.

Ryuhou: …

Kazuma: Sonuvabitch.

Ryuhou: Huh?

Kazuma: Hey, why are you stopping… oh!

(the two notice Kanami)

Kazuma: KANAMI!

Mujo: So, that's this girl's name… now I don't have to call her "crazy little brat".

Kazuma: Mujo…

Ryuhou: No matter what…

Kazuma: No matter what…

Ryuhou: I will…

Kazuma: I will…

Both: DEFEAT YOU! (Shell Bullet and Zetsuei appear)

Mujo: Wondrous cheerleading skills, boys. But what if I did this? (holds a gun to his head)

Ryuhou: Oh, no!

Kazuma: So what? You just shoot yourself and then—WAIT, THEN I CAN'T DESTROY YOU!

Mujo: Correct!

(Kazuma begins walking towards Mujo)

Ryuhou: Kazuma, you dumbass!

Mujo: Don't come any closer! I will do it!

Kazuma: No you won't.

Mujo: Who says so?

Kazuma: Kanami.

Mujo: WHAT? (looks down at Kanami, who is crying)

Kazuma: She's telling me you're a moldy asshead, and you're a wuss so you won't do it.

Mujo: Hah, let's see this, then! (flicks his cigarette at Kazuma, but misses) Ack! That was supposed to set you on fire! Oh well, I'll just break you into a hundred tiny bite sized Goldfish! (Mujo summons the Crystal)

The Crystal: AROOGA!

Kazuma: It's that thing!

(The Crystal attempts to attack Kazuma, but Zetsuei grabs it and drags it outside threw the wall)

Ryuhou: I've ordered Zetsuei to take The Crystal out the window. You take care of Mujo for me, will ya? Beat the crap outta him, and don't be a weakling.

Kazuma: Who do you think you're talking to?

Ryuhou: Kazuma the Dumbass.

Kazuma: Hah. Go on, Ryuhou, Master of Douschebags. (Ryuhou throws on a Superman cape and flies out of the hole in the wall)

Mujo: He is stupid, really. You see, there was no window there. Just solid wall, eheheheheheheh!

Kazuma: Ok, Mujo, now it's you and me! Let's fight!

Mujo: F-fight? (Mujo gets scared) Did you say fight?

Kazuma: Yup.

Mujo: Well… eheheheheh… you've just made a deathwish… for that was a barbaric request! Don't fool around with my needs! I'll just defeat you, suck up your Alter power, and then flush you down the toilet!

Kazuma: I'd like to see you try to fit me in there! (Kazuma launches himself in the air)

Mujo (like a gay guy): Ooh! (Mujo jumps towards Kazuma and attacks him, causing a shockwave to occur)

Kazuma: UUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: Where in your ass has your power gone? You were much stronger than this but now you are weak and I have learned how to use the bathroom and I have the POWAH!

Kazuma: AGH!

Mujo: I've had enough fighting even though we just started so I'll just eat your Alter power! ABSORPTION!

Kazuma: Ah-AGHHH!

Meanwhile, on the rooftop with Ryuhou…

The Crystal: AROOGA!

Ryuhou: Ugh!

(Zetsuei whacks The Crystal with its tail while The Crystal shoots bubbles at its face, making it cry)

Ryuhou: Ugh!

The Crystal: AROOGA!

Ryuhou: Scheris… help me… it seems that kiss you gave me is fading away…

The Crystal (summons drill arms and heads for Zetsuei): AROOGA!

Ryuhou: I might be crazy…

Kazuma: You are—AGH! (gets dragged back inside by Mujo)

(Zetsuei prepares Chicken Tenderfists and heads for The Crystal)

Ryuhou: But…

(Zetsuei cuts The Crystal's leg and fiery hair off)

Ryuhou: I'M NOT GOING TO QUIT! EVEN IF I HAVE TO RESTART THE GAME!

Mujo: WTF—AGH! (gets dragged back inside by Kazuma)

Back inside with Kazuma and Mujo…

Kanami: Kazukun… marry… me…

Kazuma (falls to the ground): Ow!

Mujo: You hardly have any Alter power left to eat! I'm still hungry…

Kazuma: I… fell… and hurt… my tummy…

Mujo: Eheheheheheheh… (grows White Dove and Black Thing)

Kazuma: Ah!

Mujo: I grow tired of you and your stupid dead eye! I'll let the mittens I created from the Crystal deal with you! Which one: white or black, vanilla or chocolate, which flavor do you want to be killed by?

Kazuma: They both sound… so good…

Mujo: All right, then I'll choose both! Here's… WHITE DOVE!

Kazuma (gets shocked by Vanilla ice cream): AGHHHHH!

Mujo: And… BLACK THING!

Kazuma (gets shocked by both flavors): AGHHHHH!

Kanami: Erm…

Kazuma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kanami: Stop it… faggot…

Mujo: WTF? Oh, well!

Kazuma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Cougar: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Kazuma: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Back with Ryuhou…

The Crystal (growing his lost limbs back): HWOOOO…

The Crystal (again): HWOOOO…

(Zetsuei lies on the ground)

Ryuhou: Oh, man… I shouldn't have eaten that—BLAUUUUGGGGHHHHH! (throws up all over his hand and throws up a waterfall, which drips down the hole to the inside)

Mujo: EW! Gross, man!

Ryuhou: Oh, great! Now I got puke on my hands!

Back with Mimori, Urizane, and Elian in a random room of spikes and pillars…

(they're running away from falling debris)

Urizane: Hurry! They must've started something rough up there!

(Mimori, Elian, AND Urizane trip over the same crack on the ground simultaneously)

Elian: Oof!

Mimori: Elian, get your hands off my ass!

Urizane: What are the chances of that?

(a pillar starts to fall towards them)

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Urizane: WHY'D I LEAVE MY WATERMELONS IN THE CONTROL ROOM?

(suddenly, Cougar's car breaks the pillar in half, but the top half still crashes on Elian)

Urizane: Oh, crap! You ok, little guy?

Elian: I'm a lil' teapot… short and… ugh… (Elian faints)

Urizane: He'll be all right.

Mimori: Cougar?

(the car door opens up, and a jazz band runs out of it and plays dramatic jazz music to show that Cougar is not in the car before a boulder crushes the band)

Urizane: They'll be all right.

(Cougar stands on a platform high above)

Cougar: Heh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (a rock knocks on his head)

Meanwhile, with Kazuma and Mujo…

Kazuma: Don't think you've defeated me yet!

Mujo: I wasn't. (shoots milk duds at Kazuma)

Kazuma: Ugh! How dare you make me look like a dumbass in front of Kanami!

Ryuhou: You are—oof! (The Crystal drags him back on the roof)

Kazuma: I'm tired of you and your geeky glasses! I've had a looooong night! (summons Shell Bullet) Ugh!

Mujo: Heh. You can barely stay awake. You shouldn't stay up watching Adult Swim all night.

Kazuma: Ugggghhhh… (Kazuma blows wind) SHUT UP! (Kazuma summons another Shell Bullet arm)

Mujo: Eh? Ooh, that stinks!

Kazuma: RAH! (starts punching at Mujo, but misses)

Mujo (in a gay voice): Ooh! (punches Kazuma in the face)

Kazuma: ACK!

Mujo: Impressive, you use the power of the Pepsi so well… I think I'll eat it! ABSORPTION! (starts to suck up Kazuma's Alter power)

Kazuma: Oh, no you didn't! Now you gonna get it! (Kazuma starts glowing)

Mujo: What is that?

Kazuma: It's my glowey power! Now see if you can handle this!

BREAK IT DOWN!

Up on the rooftop, Ryuhou, there lies Zetsuei, without his claws, there stands the Crystal, white and black, up in the sky flies a Scooby Snack! Ryuhou! Where's Mujo? Ryuhou! Who really knows? Up on the rooftop, click, click, click! Inside and out with ol' St.—

_Dita: KTAH!_

_KTAH: What?_

_Dita: You just threw a Christmas song parody in there!_

_KTAH: Oh, sorry, got carried away._

Back with Ryuhou…

(Zetsuei lies on the ground and Ryuhou rolls not too far away as the Crystal walks towards them)

Ryuhou: … (a scene of Kanami flashes in his head) K-Kanami? WTF?

**Kazuma: I don't need anything anymore! I don't care!**

Ryuhou: WTF is going on… wait… of course… heh… all this time I've been trying to protect myself…

The Crystal: AROOGA! (TRANSLATION: WTF is he talking to?)

Ryuhou: I don't need anything anymore! I don't care what happens!

**Kazuma: Hey, you stole my line!**

Ryuhou (reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of gum and throws it in his mouth) Ooh… (puckers up his lips) sour… (reaches into his pocket again and grab's Scheris' hairpin) WTF how did this get in there? Oh, well… Scheris… did you feel the same?

**Kazuma: You're both copying off of me!**

Ryuhou (throws the hairpin in the air): BIG O! SHOWTIME!

(Zetsuei swirls around Ryuhou and Ryuhou transforms into…)

Ryuhou: I am the Ryuhou Ranger! (poses)

The Crystal (tries to touch the Alter air and gets shocked): Ow! Sonuvabitch!

Ryuhou: I WILL DEFEAT YOU!

Back with Kazuma…

Kazuma: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: How long can this last? How long! I'm gonna miss InuYasha!

Kazuma: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mujo: I can't eat his power! Oh, no! (grows a hunchback) AHH! My Black Thing! (Kazuma deflects and grows Shell Bullet leg) Eh? Ok, then my White Dove! (Kazuma deflects and grows Shell Bullet leg) AHH! You can't do that! It's not in the rules!

Kazuma: YES I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! (blows Mujo away)

Mujo: Why can't I eat it? What about my power from the other side… oh… just who the hell is this guy—

Cougar: That's Kazuya, the Shell Bullet…

Mujo: ACK! Don't scare me like that you buffoon! Wait… COUGAR? How did you--?

Cougar: Don't you know? I can run faster than a turtle! Hey, Kazuya, why don't I get these kids outta here so you don't blow them up? Then you can beat the crap outta Mujo for me.

Kazuma: DON'T THINK YOU CAN BOSS ME AROUND AT A TIME LIKE THIS!

Cougar (gives a funny glare): C'mon, brutha from anotha mutha, do me this one last favor… or I'll come over there and give ya a noogie!

Kazuma: Ok! Ok!

Cougar: Up, up, and awaaaaaaaay! (Cougar hovers out of the room)

Mujo: Well, well, he saved his pink boots from utter destruction!

Kazuma: See ya later, whoever you are… wait! He got my name wrong! Oh, yeah… where was I? OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF YELLING MY ASS OFF! (forms the last level of Shell Bullet)

Mujo: No, it can't be!

Kazuma: That's right! When I am in this form, I call myself… Thundercat Kazuma! (poses)

Mujo: Don't be so cocky!

Kazuma: RAH!

Ryuhou…

Ryuhou: I don't need anything anymore…

The Crystal: AROOGA! (TRANSLATION: You said that already…)

Ryuhou: No, nothing! (dodges The Crystal's attacks) Argh! (pulls out purple diamond blades) Now! (slashes one of the Crystal's arms off)

The Crystal: AROOGA!

Ryuhou: Too slow! (slashes off the other arm)

The Crystal: BOOGA!

Zigmar: What you saw was not a native alter, but a real life— 

Ryuhou: You're dead, old man, so shuttup! I don't even care anyway!

Kazuma and Mujo…

Mujo: Hiyah! (uses both flavors at the same time)

Kazuma: RAHHHHH! (spins in the air…) WHEEEE! (… shoots forward…) RAH! (… and punches Mujo directly in the nose!)

Mujo: OOOOOF!

Kazuma: MUJOOOOOOOOO! (sends him flying into the other side)

Mujo: SAVE THE NUTRI-GRAIN BAAAAAAR! (disappears into the pretty raibowy colors of the other side)

(the building has random explosions around it, and a line of light shines from the lighthouse in the center)

Ryuhou…

Ryuhou: I'll stab you down to size! (shanks The Crystal, splitting it in half and causing it to squeal)

(another set of random explosions and another line of light from the lighthouse)

Mimori, Urizane, and Elian…

Urizane: Look at that light…

Elian: It's perty!

Mimori (having a daydream about her and Ryuhou): Ooh…

(the Cougar mobile passes right by the children)

Urizane: What the? HEY, YOU BITCH! YOU JUST PASSED THE KIDS!

Mimori: Huh? (goes in reverse)

Ryuhou…

Ryuhou (has flashes of important people to him… plus a nekkid flash of Scheris and Mimori… before punching the Crystal into the other side): Now go… I don't wanna see your face around my turf anymo', is that clear?

The Crystal: WHOOOOO… (disappears)

Ryuhou: Whew, finally that bitch is gone! Woohoo!

Kazuma: Huh… huh…

(Ryuhou parachutes down from the hole and lands really hard on the floor)

Kazuma: WTF?

Ryuhou: Ow! What the hell? This parachute didn't break the fall at all!

Kazuma: Dumbass.

Ryuhou: Where's the girl at?

Kazuma: Some guy with pink booties carried her and these afro kids outside so they wouldn't blow up…

Ryuhou: Cougar…

Kazuma: AND HE GOT MY NAME WRONG!

(Loud explosion, a light, and a deformed worm/Mujo crawl out of the other side)

Mujo: THIS ISN'T OVER, MYSTERY INC.! NOT BY A LONG SHOT! I HAVE FINALLY ACQUIRED ALL THE FOOD I NEEDED FOR ALL THESE YEARS! I AM HUNGRY NO MORE! NOW, FEEL THE POWER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

(Mujo shoots rainbows out of his back)

Mimori…

Mimori: WTF?

Mujo…

Mujo: AHAHAHA! HOW DO YOU LIKE MY POWER? OH, WAIT YOU CAN'T ANSWER ME 'CUZ YOU'RE BOTH DEAD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS BORN… I'M FUUUULL!

(dust blows away and Thundercat Kazuma and Ryuhou Ranger emerge)

Mujo: IMPOSSIBLE! MY LITTLE PONY IS--!

Kazuma: You're really chunky, y'know that?

Ryuhou: Whether no one has fed you or not doesn't make a difference to us.

Mujo: MY POWER! WHY DOESN'T IT WORK ON YOU?

Ryuhou: Care to take him out?

Kazuma: I was going to anyway!

Ryuhou: That's not fair, jackass!

Kazuma: I'm going to destroy him 'cuz this chunky piece of & has really pissed me off now!

Mujo: DIIIIIIE! (shoots rainbows at him)

Kazuma: Nice try.

Mujo: DON'T COME NEAR ME! IF YOU USE ANYMORE PEPSI POWER, YOU'LL BE DESTROYED!

Kazuma: I don't care!

Mujo: THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU'LL MISS! YOU'LL BE A VIRGIN! A VIIIIRRRRGGGGIIIIN!

Kazuma: Say goodnight, sweet baby…

Mujo: NO! PLEASE!

Kazuma: RAH! (punches Mujo in the face very hard, causing him to cry)

Mujo: PLEASE! STOP IT!

Kazuma: You wanna know something unique about me?

Mujo: N-NO!

Kazuma: It's something that you'd die to hear…

Ryuhou: Oh, boy… (plugs nose up)

Mujo: STAY A-AWAY!

Kazuma: HERE IT IS! MY OWN, PROUD FIST! (punches Mujo right in the eyeball, causing him to start disintegrating)

Mujo: MY PONY! NO, PLEASE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Mujo explodes)

Ryuhou: Whew, for a second I thought you were gonna bust wind or something…

Kazuma: I think it's gone… huh, huh, huh…

Ryuhou: Huh… eh… ugh…

(the room suddenly starts disintegrating into the other side)

Kazuma: WTF?

Ryuhou: HUH?

(the building starts melting)

Mimori, Urizane, Elian, Kanami, and the other two Elians…

Mimori: Oh snap!

Kanami: Unh…

_KTAH: That's the end of that episode!_

_Dita: Say, where did Mr. Starry go?_

_Don Patch: Mujo died… so sad… (cries a river)_

_KTAH: Oh, come on! He might not be dead, after all anyway!_

_Dita: So, are you gonna continue?_

_KTAH: Of course, but I gotta wait a whole weekend until it's another episode… mebbe I can watch the special night of AS on Saturday…_

_Don Patch: Ooh! And my show?_

_KTAH: Yup. Well, folks, see you all on Monday! (hopefully)_

NEXT EPISODE/PARODY: EPISODE 25 NATIVE COMING SOON! 


End file.
